Ladies and gentlemen, let's say it. Tell the truth as it is.say we'll never close our eyes or pretend that Nigeria's a rosy world. Say we'll never try to paint what is rotten with a sugarcoat. Say you'll talk about the horrors we've seen and the torment we bear. Say we'll never look at the evil among us and try to forget.Say we'll tell it like it is. This is the reason of my blogs. I welcome you all on board the zion train. ===deola
Me, I wanna tell ya a story; but
before I go ahead, when I say “akuba”, I’d like ya to chorus: “oranyan.” Ok,
ladies and gentlemen, 1, 2, 3, go: “acuba” “oranyan”. Eeba! Atoto, arere, alo
mi alo o! Alo mi alo, motun gbe de o. Alo mi alo, alo mi alo; Motun gbe de o!
Once upon a time, the duckling
president of Geniria republic of Africa had felt so bad about being the most
cursed president on the face of this earth, this 21st century. He'd wondered
why he could be so ridiculed. Even though, he deludes himself in the
premonition that his name had brought good luck to Geniria, his fellow citizens
yet mistrust and loathe him. What could he, perhaps, do? He had reasoned, and
at last, had found a solution to this predicament from his subconscious mind:
He had to change his name (Thannajo), and adopt a new name of Jan-mentsu-wang.
Sound like Chinese? Yea! There ain't evil committed from a man wanting to
rebirth. Even so, the bible sayest: "behold a man shall be born
again." So, in his quest to rebirth, he had discussed and sought the
approval of his party, and had gotten approved by every member, save one:
Achimae (the priest of the heathens). Achimae had, vehemently, opposed him,
saying: "Your Excellency, sir, Mr. president, I know you to be my kin from
the royal priesthood of Onigo kingdom of Geniria. How come, then, your Excellency
would choose to want to adopt a Chinese rather than any of our indigenous
beautiful names passed down to us by our ancestors? Your Excellency, Mr. President!
I am ashamed of you; and the god of our ancestor forbids me from lending you my
credence. The President had to shout him down: "sharap (shut up), that is
not carret (correct). I want to be Jang-wang-mentsu; because, I could sense why
China is doing better in the comity of nations of the world...the Chinese have
a laundered image from names that sound like a broken pieces of earthenware
(Lee-cho-wang, Jan-tzu-chin, Zin-wang-Jang). So, priest Achimae, if you and the
god won't lend me your support, I am content with the rest members of my party,
who are ever ready to support me in all things." Thence, he charged
Opabika from the priesthood of the Ikawa-Mob, saying: "go arrange ye, my
name adoption ceremony, and have it scheduled to the African Union banquet. It
gladdened the heart of Opabika, and he did as he was charged.
However, the President, on the eve
of the ceremony, went on binge deep into the night. He got so drunk, slept, and
drifted into Neptune, far away from the earth. He had forgotten his name
adoption process necessitate him to repeat on oath the affidavit of his name
adoption before the African Union Judge.
Not until suddenly, in his dream, he
heard bang, bang, bang on the door, before he was aroused from his slumber. He
struggled to get up, but alas, it was too late: Jang-mentsu-wang! The remnant
of the wine and the cup on the table yielded to the resonating vibration of the
bangs on the door. The bottles and cup fell and broke.
He surmounted composure, but
unfortunately, "afefe ti fe, a ti ri furo adie. Shikena!" (The wind
has blown, the perineal of the fowl is exposed. That’s all). The embarrassment
could not be undone; but, he had another ace in his pocket. He waved the wand,
and Priest Achimae cried out: “Egbami o, my life is in danger o!”
Eeba! Atoto, arere, alo mi alo o!
Alo mi alo, motun gbe de o. Alo mi alo, alo mi alo; Motun gbe de o! It is my
privilege to have been able to gist ya bout this happenings in the lower room
of the spiritual underground of the African mafias.
Once upon a jungle, the animals were
dissatisfied with the status-quo of the creator’s order to be subservient to
the domination by humans. Therefore, on one sunny day, they staged a rampage,
led by the Tiger due to its boldness, and Tortoise due to its oratory and
wisdom, petitioning God to have them remolded into human beings. Tiger led, and the rest animal followed behind, forward march to the throne of God: Aaah, Like this:
Jagajaga jagajaga! Left right left right! Dem dey march, yes! Dem dey shout,
yes! God, excuse o! Afe d'eniyan leni (God, please, we wish to become humans
today). At the feet of God, Tortoise delivered an emotion laden speech about
animals travails in the hands of human beings. God was moved; and in His
impartial love and wisdom, he granted the animals wish to become humans; but notwithstanding,
he told them that they too have got to play a part in their transformation. He
stretched forth his hand, and gave Tortoise a pot, saying: Herein in this pot,
I've made you olive oil. Take ye, and go rub all over your body; and, ye all will
become human beings. The animals became over joyous, and they marched back to
the jungle with the given pot of olive oil. However, soon as they returned to
the jungle, they assembled in an open plane field, laid the pot of the olive
oil on the ground, with an exemplary caution, lest it tumbled and spilled. They
organized feast to celebrate a transformation from animal to human being. Each
donated foods and drinks according to each capability. And before a child could
have pronounced mama, the party began with drum, song, dance, and jubilation.
Everyone was in merriment, because liberation from human domination was not
again negotiable. Whatever God had put together, no one dare put asunder! Like
Sodom and Gomorrah, the end of human domination of animals is: Come! Come! The
tortoise sprinted out with a melodious song:
Oju ti won, awon to npawa je;
Aimokan, aimokan lo di won
loju;
Gbogbo wa yio d'eniyan leni;
Eran'ko yio d'eniyan leni;
Ekun yio d'eniyan leni;
Erin yio d'eniyan leni;
Oju ti won, awon to npawa je;
Aimokan, aimokan lo di won loju.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Shame on them, those who kill us and
eat;
It’s ignorance that blindfolded
them;
Everyone will become human today;
Animals will become human today;
Lion will become human being today;
Elephant will become human today;
Shame on them, those who kill us and
eat;
It’s ignorance that blindfolded them.
As the party was progressing, all of
a sudden, lo and behold, some group hunters from the human kingdom emerged with
an orchestrated drumming, song, and dance of "ijala ode":
O ba saa! O too!
Omo ode de;
Afohun bi ara;
Ogun lakaye;
Omo eran da?
Omo ode de.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Foul! Enough!
The hunter has come;
Who speaks in thunder;
God of iron the world over;
Where is the animal?
The hunter has come
However, the animals would not be
deterred by the bluff of the human hunters. They continued with their song of:
“gbogbo wa yio deniyan leni” This audacity infuriated the human hunters, to an
extent a hunter shot, in attempt to kill a giraffe; but unfortunately, missed
his target-a shameful failure. It was at this point in time the animals roared
back in mockery song:
Oju tiwon,
Oju ti awon ode to npawa je;
Aimokan, aimokan;
Oun lo diwon loju;
Elele rekun ewele!
Ao ma ni foju sukun ara wa;
Elele rekun ewele.
Drum beats roared with acoustic
guitar, bass, piano, sax, percussion et al. It was the most melodious musical
rendition I have ever witnessed in my entire life. My friend, how I wish you
were there! You really missed out on the fun of that day! Deola? Excuse me,
ladies and gentlemen; my friend is trying to ask me a question. Yes, my friend.
How may I help you? Yea, Deola! Could these groups of hunters be likened to
the: colonial imperialists, monarchs, military, and the rebels, for example,
Boko Haram? Well, thou sayest so; but for the meantime, I allow you to indulge
your curiosity figuring it out. However, be weary you do not over develop your
intuitive perception like the invertebrate who over developed its thoracic
cavity in an attempt to have big brain o! Thank you. Let me return to my
narration. The monkey, in its acrobatic choreographs, leaped and somersaulted
to the rhythm of the drum beat. But suddenly, a miss-step occurred; and lo, it
leaped, fell on, and crashed the olive oil pot. O my God! The aspiration of the
animals’ transformation into human was thus truncated. But, while the horde of
the animals gave up the effort in frustration, the monkeys and gorillas charged
towards the spill on the ground, rubbed their hands in it, wiped on forehead,
face and feet; and hence became the caricature of the human form we see today.
The caricature reminiscent of the democracy we have everywhere in Africa as
compared to what there are in Europe, UK, America, Russia, Asia, and Australia.
Deola? Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen; somebody’s got a question to ask me.
Yes, my friend. How may I help you? Yea, Deola! Could the monkey, herein in
this scenario, be a symbolic representation of African politicians over
ambition, greediness, and ever ready to dance to the gallery that always
warrants the military to stage coup, and thus truncation democracy? Blessed art
thou, my friend, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you. Upon this
bedrock is democracy built in Africa.
I am a liberal, friendly, emotional and lovely Nigerian-American-a resident of Texas. I started school at about five years of age. I remember that I intensely hated the project because it severely curtailed my period of play and freedom. You must be tidy in appearance coming to school, which meant either a complete ablution or the washing of face and limbs to present at least a good facade.