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DEOLA
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Sunday, August 28, 2011

A VAIN SHADOW

Out of cloudland of the delta kidnappers;
We had been steering;
After groping, and sick with fear;
Until, suddenly, we have arrived;
The bomb light land of the boko demons;
They require our death by scores;
Redemption for sins not committed;
Everyday bombing, everyday massacre;
And the president rose;
What did he do?
Sits with his arms folded;
Yet, wanna fish the perpetrators out;
Like he is always fond of doing;
Each time our blood flows in Golgotha;
He doles out epistle of sermons;
Prepared by abati or oro-tan do-glass;
“The president is on top of the situation”;
Far from the bottom, the root;
Nigeria, we hail thee!
A nation totally skidded down;
Into abysmal of disintegration;
Yea, into bottomless pit;
Due to a retinopathy for mega-blast wealth;
And acute seroconversion of public funds to personal use;
Symptoms of corruption-immuno-virus sufficiency syndrome (CIV)
==DEOLA




Monday, August 22, 2011

SUMMERSLAM: DANCING TIME




raps:

                        GALLOPIN! GALLOPIN!
                        INKLIN BOTTOM! 1, 2, 3, 4;
                        E WO IDI ENIYAN!!!
                        GALLOPIN! GALLOPIN!
                        ELEYI PAMAMA, ERU NIYO!
                        IBADI LAYE WA, ETIKE!
                        ORERE YE O MA REDI;
chorus:
                        BABY, SEWO LO NI IDI RE;
                        ORERE YE O MA REDI KENKE;
                        MAMA MI, MA BERE MI;
                        ARIYA LO DE;
                        IKEBE YI MO BA RODE;
                        ORERE YE O MA REDI KENKE;
                        BABA MI, MA BERE MI;
                        NITORI, ARIYA TI DE;
                        IKEBE YI MO BA RODE;
                       ORERE YE O MA REDI KENKE;
raps:
                        GALLOPIN! GALLOPIN!
                        INKLIN BOTTOM! 1, 2, 3, 4;
                        E WO IDI ENIYAN!!!
                        GALLOPIN! GALLOPIN!
                        ELEYI PAMAMA, ERU NIYO!
                        SUGBON, IBADI LAYE WA, ETIKE!
                        ORERE YE O MA REDI;
chorus:
                        BABY, SEWO LO NI IDI RE;
                        ORERE YE O MA REDI KENKE;
                        MAMA MI, ANI E MA BERE MI;
                        NITORI, ARIYA LO DE;
                        IKEBE YI MO BA RODE;
                       ORERE YE O MA REDI KENKE
raps:
                       WHATEVER’S HURTING;
                       WHATEVER’S TROUBLING;
                       DON’T LET IT HOLD YA DOWN;
                       SUN IS SHINNING;
                       LET’S GO PLAY IN THE PARK;
                       DANCE AND LET IT GO;
                       IBADI LAYE WA, ETIKE
chorus:
                        BABY, SEWO LO NI IDI RE;
                        ORERE YE O MA REDI KENKE;
                        MAMA MI, ANI E MA BERE MI;
                        NITORI, ARIYA LO DE;
                        IKEBE YI MO BA RODE;
                        ORERE YE O MA REDI KE-NKE E
==============deola mcaguns.


TRANSLATION
Raps
Inkling bottom! 1, 2, 3,4;
See human ass!!!
Galloping! Galloping!
Extraordinary, heavy load!
Life in the ass, enjoy!
Break up as I like my ass;
I own my ass;
Break up as I like, bit, bit;
chorus:
Baby, you own ya ass;
Break up as u like, bit, bit;
Mom, don’t ask for me;
Celebration’s arrived;
I’m gone with this ass;
Break up as u like, bit, bit;
Dad, don’t ask for me;
Celebration’s arrived;
I’m gone with this ass;
Break up as u like, bit, bit;
Raps
Whatever’s hurting;
Whatever’s troubling;
Don’t let it hold ya down;
Sun is shining;
Let’s go play in the park;
Dance and let it go;
Ibadi laye wa, etike.
Repeat: (chorus)











Thursday, August 18, 2011

PROPHECY

THIS MESSAGE IS FOR MR. PRESIDENT;
THE NIGERIA PRESIDENT;
PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONA;
A MESSAGE FROM ON HIGH;
HIGHEST HEIGHT OF INTELLECTUAL RECORD;
LISTEN O PRESIDO
YOU WANNA MARRY 6YRS TERM;
DID YOU REMEMBER WHAT BEFELL ABACHA?
MANY PEOPLE IS HISSING;
PROTESTING AGAINST YA MOVE;
YET YOU WANNA GO AHEAD;
EH, DID YOU SEE WHAT BEFELL IBB?
LISTEN O MY PRESIDO;
DESPITE PEOPLE HISSING;
YET YOU WANNA GO AHEAD;
EVERYDAY, YOU’RE LOBBYING;
INNA BID TO ENLONGATE YA TENURE;
YA AMBITION IS COME TO ROUSE;
DID YOU SEE WHAT BEFELL OBASANJO?
LISTEN O MY PRESIDO;
YA GOODLUCK CHARM’S CARRIED THIS FAR;
IT MAY CARRY YOU NO LONGER FAR;
COS THE WORLD’S REACHED A TURNING POINT;
LOOK WHAT’S HAPPENED IN SENEGAL;
TAKE CUE FROM TUNISIA;
SEE WHAT’S HAPPENED INNA LYBIA;
SYRIA, EGYPT, MOROCCO AND ALGERIA;
LISTEN O MY PRESIDO;
I KNOW YA NAME IS GOODLUCK;
AND IT’S CARRIED YOU THIS FAR;
HOWEVER, IT MAYN’T CARRY YOU NO MORE;
AIN’T LONGER INNA DYNAMIC WORLD;
IF YOU INSIST ON THE 6 YEARS;
AND YOU FAIL TO REMEMBER ABACHA;
YOU DIDN’T REMEMBER BABAGINDA;
YOU DIDN’T REMEMBER OBASANJO;
IN ALL THEIR SELFISH AMBITIONS;
HOW EACH TRIED TO ELONGATE HIS TENURE;
AND THE DISGRACE THAT FOLLOW EACH ONE;
HERE I SAY GOODLUCK TO YA.
==========================deola mcaguns





Monday, August 15, 2011

FROM ASO ROCK WITH LOVE

The music rings outta aso rock;
A sweet melodic fuji hip-hop;
Hit single debut in Yoruba lyric;
So ecstatically dance rending;
“Jonah ti gunke, faka fi faka fi”;
Despite boko haram’s bombing;
And the nebulae of insecurity;
“Jonah ti gunke, faka fi faka fi”;
The man won’t bend nor break;
Lo, there is a dove above him;
Visible to whoever have eyes;
It shines forth in greediness;
“Jonah ti gunke, faka fi faka fi”;
Oke tente ti obasanjo kole gun;
Eso, Jona yoo gun, yoo tun so;
Fakafiki, fakafi fakafiki fakafi
All eyes that see him climb;
Verily, will see his 8yrs terms;
Our voting, or no voting;
Fakafiki, fakafi fakafiki fakafi
Oke ti Babangida kole gun;
Yes, oke ti Abacha kole gun;
Jona yoo gunke, fakafi fakafi
No matter ya hiss or protest;
Jowo go to hell,  who cares;
Broad is the way of them;
That have long died in vain;
Jona won't bend nor break;
Fakafiki, fakafi fakafiki fakafi
=====DEOLA.





Friday, August 12, 2011

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

MORE THAN CONQUEROR!!!

Jonathan dallied;
In his thought;
Desire flared-up;
His Luke warmness;
Grew into morbidity;
Wild longing;
Cloaked his actions;
Like minds arose;
From the NGF!
Divided further;
Into two forums:
The Amaechi’s!
And, the Jang’s!
Like magnet;
They attracted;
In their homogeneity;
Like birds;
They flocked!
In their plumage;
Gladly, became;
Willing tools;
Brew poisonous tea;
Meant to lull;
The people to dozing;
So, they can hang-on;
To six years reign;
And again unnerve;
“We, the people”;
Sadly, however;
“We the people”;
Have detected;
Their evil nature;
And, would not;
Drink of this poison;
Instead, we would;
Rage against them;
Like toad and snake;
Aluta continua!
Our battle front;
Goes to the roadside;
And, “we the people”;
Will be a conqueror;
Victoria ascerta!
Thence, it will be;
Hallelujah time!
Say amen, somebody!
=DEOLA

Sunday, August 7, 2011

SUMMER FINZ!!!


 
...aaaha!!!
Friends, e ma bere mi o;
CHORUS:
Eniola ti de;
Tolu mo ba rode;
Orere ya ma redi kenke;
RAPS:
Summer time!
Groovy time!
Rock it up!
Break it down!
Sweet, sweet love;
Na so life be!
Ejowo, e ma bere mi;
CHORUS:
Ariya lo de;
Eniola mo ba rode;
Ki orere ya ma redi kenke;
VERSE
Eniola mi! Enny, olola;
Eniola mi! omo, olola;
Eniola mi! Rotee, olola;
Eniola mi! Denny, olola;
Yeah, Eniola mi;
The ever shining Gold.
RAPS:
Summer time;
Is a fun time;
Let's sing;
Let's dance;
Let's rock;
Kiss, kiss;
Elele mukele!
VERSE
Eniola mi! Enny, olola;
Eniola mi! omo, olola;
Eniola mi! Rotee, olola;
Eniola mi! Denny, olola;
Yeah, Eniola mi;
The ever shining Gold.
CHORUS:
Ariya lo de;
Eniola mo ba rode;
Ki orere ya ma redi kenke
 ==DEOLA

Saturday, August 6, 2011

THIS DEAD DIDN'T STAY DUMB

THE LID OF THIS SECRET IS BLOWN OFF;
LONG TIME, IT’D COVERED THE TRUTH;
LO, MKO, THEY’D CONSPIRED-N-KILLED;
THE TRUTH THAT’S SHROUDED-N-BURRIED;
IN THE WATCHFULL EYES OF AL-MUSTAFA;
THE SAME TRUTH IS NOW RESURRECTED;
THE REVELATION OF AL-MUSTAFA;
ROARERED IN THUNDER TO NADECO;
A REAL LOTUS FOR OUR AFENIFERE;
HAMZAT MADE THE CORPSE WALKS;
INDEED, HE MADE MKO WALKS IN DEATH;
AHA! TRULY THE VULTURE IS A PATIENT BIRD;
WOE UNTO THE NADECO;
YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO LEAD YA PEOPLE;
BUT, IN YA WHIFF FOR MONEY;  
YOU HAD DEALT YA PEOPLE;
WOE UNTO YOU, AFENIFERE
VERILY, YOU’RE MORE OF AFENIFEBI;
WHEREFORE WILL YOU GO HIDE?
IT’S TOO LATE FOR A GNASHING OF TEETH;
IT’S WINDY; THE RECTUM OF FOWL IS EXPOSED;
HOWEVER LONG LIES MAY REIGN;
ONLY A SECOND TRUTH CATCHES UP;
IT’S JUST A MATTER OF TIME. ===deola mcaguns


Monday, August 1, 2011

IF JONATHAN WERE SERIOUS…by Okey Ndibe

The kindest thing that can be said about President Goodluck Jonathan’s proposal to amend the constitution in order to enshrine a single term of six years for occupants of the presidency and governorship is that Mr. Jonathan must have made up his mind without giving serious thought to the matter. For, in the end, the proposal is terribly weak, a product of profound misdiagnosis – and bespeaks a shocking misplacement of priorities.
In a statement signed by Reuben Abati, the president’s spokesman, we learn that the proposal “is borne out of [Jonathan’s] patriotic zeal,” that it came “after a painstaking study and belief that the constitutionally guaranteed two terms for Presidents and Governors is not helping the focus of Governance and institutionalization of democracy at this stage of our development.” Mr. Abati’s statement also reveals that the president “is concerned about the acrimony which the issue of re-election, every four years, generates both at the Federal and State levels.” We read that Nigeria “is still smarting from the unrest, the desperation for power and the overheating of the polity that has attended each general election,” with the concomitant “unending inter and intra-party squabbles which have affected the growth of party democracy in the country, and have further undermined the country’s developmental aspirations.”
Mr. Abati’s press release goes to extensive lengths to assure Nigerians that his boss would not benefit from the single term amendment – if passed. Mr. Jonathan, we learn, “also states that the greater good of Nigeria is greater than the ambition of any one individual.” And then this: “The envisaged Bill is part of the Jonathan administration’s transformation agenda aimed at sanitizing the nation’s politics.  The President believes that this single move, when actualized, will change the face of our politics and accelerate the overall development of our nation.”
It is easy to demonstrate that Mr. Jonathan’s proposal is not remotely transformational. Nor is his prescription an antidote to the problems articulated in his spokesman’s statement.
First, there’s nothing in a single term that makes it less susceptible to violence or the so-called overheating of the polity. Candidates seeking ascension to Aso Rock or occupancy of any of the thirty-six Government Houses are likely to bring the same arsenal of violence whether they are to spend a single term of six years, or two terms of four years each.
Nor does it stand to reason that a president, or governor, who has only a single term, would be more focused on governance. Given a single term of six years, instead of two terms of four years, a thieving governor would simply cram into his single term all the looting he would have done in two four-year terms.
In fact, if nothing fundamentally serious is done to address the crises of violence and corruption in our politics – and Mr. Jonathan’s proposal is, at best, first aid, not a panacea – then Nigerians are, on balance, better off with two terms for state executives and even the presidency. It’s true that many incumbent governors still find a way – through bribery (to electoral officials, law enforcement agents, and judges), intimidation of opponents, and deployment of state resources – to wangle their way to re-election (or re-selection). Still, the case of Ikedi Ohakim – to take that telling example – illustrates the superiority of two four-year terms.
Imagine the greater damage an Ohakim might have done in Imo State if he had six years, rather than four, to enact his wrecking game. The sheer prospect of Mr. Ohakim spending another two years in Government House, Owerri is bound to give the millions of Imo indigenes ulcer. The lesson from Imo is that a determined people can sometimes dislodge a self-aggrandizing mediocrity from his gubernatorial perch.
There are simply too many holes in Mr. Jonathan’s proposal. Its central assumptions are deaf to recent Nigerian history. In fact, Mr. Abati’s claim that the proposal emerged from “a painstaking study” is bogus and deceptive. It’s fallacious to suggest that a president or governor limited to one term of six years would become indifferent to the issue of his or her successor. If former Governor James Ibori had spent only one term, does anybody believe he would have been less desperate to push forward his maternal cousin, Emmanuel Uduaghan, to take over from him? It’s no secret that, having lost the battle for a third term, former President Olusegun Obasanjo designed and executed a plan to enthrone the tag team of Umaru Yar’Adua and Goodluck Jonathan at all cost. Is Mr. Jonathan willing to argue that, had Mr. Obasanjo spent only a single term of six years, he would have quietly returned to his farm in Otta, instead of manipulating all the instruments of incumbency to impose his anointed successor?
As I wrote at the beginning of his presidency, Mr. Jonathan owes it to himself, the long-suffering Niger Deltans, and Nigerians in general to strive for success. If he fails, he can count on Nigerians’ – and history’s – Olympian rebuke. To succeed, however, he must muster and exhibit an inner strength, courage, wisdom and loftiness of vision that I haven’t heard anybody credibly accuse him of possessing. But leaders need not necessarily come to the job with these attributes. Some are lucky in their advisers. Some are luckier, still, when they have the disposition to listen to informed advisers.
This baffling issue of single tenure is a distraction, pure and simple. Parts of Nigeria are under the virtual rule of Boko Haram, an amorphous group whose expertise in terror and propaganda is daily growing in refinement and audacity. There’s the perennial crisis of electric power that can – and should – engage the full attention of a president and Bart Nnaji, his excellent choice for Minister of Power. There’s the near-collapse of the educational sector, with many teachers at all levels bartering grades and certificates for cash or sex. There’s the absence of a healthcare system, with well-to-do Nigerians flying off to places like India, South Africa and Ghana for routine medical procedures, while poor Nigerians, driven to absurd desperation, flock to miracle-vending pastors and imams. There’s the rising quotient of violent crimes – armed robbery, kidnapping, abductions. There’s the ever-present menace of corruption – and a veritable war between Attorney General Bello Adoke and EFCC chairperson, Farida Waziri.
One is astonished that, in the midst of these new challenges and deepening crises, a man who shoulders a huge historic burden, a president who has tagged himself transformational, would start off his (so far uninspiring) presidency with an issue as politically charged, hollow and unhelpful as the pursuit of a constitutional amendment to achieve a single term. If Mr. Jonathan is after a recipe for bogging down his presidency in do-nothingism, then he has found a perfect one.
But if he truly means to deepen Nigeria’s democracy and advance the country’s development, then he should propose prescriptions that are more likely to have significant, immediate and lasting impact.
One, why not send a bill to the National Assembly to radically revise the immunity clause. In truly democratic nations, a president and his deputy as well as state governors and their deputies enjoy immunity only for carrying out those acts that fall within the normal, legitimate duties of their office. When officials commit crimes – as Bill Clinton did when he perjured himself in the Monica Lewinsky case, or former Governor Rod Blagojevich of Illinois who tried to auction off Barack Obama’s Senate seat – they are arrested, indicted and prosecuted. In Nigeria, however, a governor could steal public funds in plain sight, or assault citizens – and get away with it.
A second proposal: Why not advocate a change in the disbursement of so-called security votes? Why not ask the National Assembly to remove this stash of cash from the hands of the president and governors, and vest it in institutions like the police, the SSS, and the intelligence wing of the military? As a corollary, Mr. Jonathan should champion efforts – if he’s serious about transforming Nigeria – to make the judiciary truly independent, empower anti-corruption agencies to do their job without let or hindrance, criminalize rigging and other forms of electoral fraud, and establish a culture of the rule of law.
As a side note: Last week, Governor Dannel P. Malloy of Connecticut – where I live –traveled to New Haven, one of the big cities in his state, for an official meeting. He parked his car at a spot where parking was prohibited. By the time he emerged from his meeting, a municipal officer had issued him a ticket. The fact that he’s the governor did not impress the officer who issued that ticket. And unless he goes to court and successfully contests the ticket, Mr. Malloy cannot avoid paying it.
And yet, a Nigerian governor could pocket 75% of his state’s resources and still be shielded by executive immunity! If Jonathan were serious, he would be tackling this scandal.
(okeyndibe@gmail.com)


CRANIA NIGERIANA by Pius Adesanmi

I have on occasion advocated in this column the use of craniology in our attempt to unravel or account for the unending irrationalities of the rulers of Nigeria. Recent developments in our country compel me to return to that idea in the present treatise. Craniology and its ancillary registers –craniometry, physical anthropology, etc – come to us direct from the racist and racialist pseudo-intellection of 19th and early 20th century Euro-America. European and American thinkers and scientists of that era were convinced that all they needed to prove the cerebral inferiority of non-White races was to collect and measure our skulls.
They were convinced that the Caucasian race had the biggest  craniology – and by implication bigger brain matter than every other human race. In the intellectual production of those White thinkers, other races fared better in a descending order until you got to the black race, hovering precariously just one rung above the orangutan.
After fighting two World Wars and killing six million Jews, the White man came to understand that he was capable of bringing home more human heads in conditions of absolute brainless bestiality than Okonkwo could ever hope to bring back to Umuofia. The White man could not look upon the evidence of his carnage in the first half of the 20th century and still conclude that he had a bigger cranial cavity than the rest of us. And so it was that craniology and the philosophical discourses that enabled it came to ignominy and disrepute as far as intellectual orthodoxy goes – and certainly in academe. Today, and ironically so, we only teach 19th century racialist European and American thinkers as evidence of the depravities and superiorist imbecilities that the human brain once produced.
This detour into the ignoble intellectual career of craniology is necessary to underscore how tough it has been for me to arrive at the conclusion that we need that particular scientific procedure to understand what goes on in Aso Rock and other spaces of power in Nigeria. I have been a student of the atmospherics of power in Nigeria for a long time. My career in public intellection has focused mainly on exploring the psychology of the man of power in Nigeria. From the President down to the lowliest Local Government Chairman, this psychology has been uniformly characterized by deviance and a programmatic allergy to ethics throughout our postcolonial history.
Nothing in the broad literature of the behavioural sciences can account for the Nigerian man of power. To account for the broader pattern of this dynamic in Africa, for instance, social scientists have come up with fanciful phraseologies like the “politics of the belly” and the “prebendal relationship” of Africa’s political elite with the state. But all these explanations collapse when applied to the rulers of Nigeria.  Prebendalism and the politics of the belly cannot account for the scale of the irresponsibility of the rulers of Nigeria and the amount of money that they steal. Nigeria is where you come to understand that there is such a thing as a difference between responsible and irresponsible stealing. If we cannot even get our political leadership in Nigeria to steal responsibly, we need to find out what is at work for there is undoubtedly something more sinister at work in their behavior.
It is perhaps an indication of the failure of conventional explanations of the psychology of Nigeria’s rulers that a frustrated Wole Soyinka went all the way to psychiatry. He exhorted Nigerians to insist on a psychiatric evaluation of our rulers. Soyinka was not alone. Farida Waziri intervened in support of Soyinka. Says Waziri: “having dealt with many corruption cases, I am inclined to suggest that public officers should be subjected to some form of psychiatric evaluation to determine their suitability for public office. The extent of aggrandizement and gluttonous accumulation of wealth that I have observed suggests to me that some people are mentally and psychologically unsuitable for public office. We have observed people amassing public wealth to a point suggesting “madness” or some form of obsessive- compulsive psychiatric disorder.”
Wole Soyinka and Farida Waziri are only partially right. More than madness or lunacy, I have come to believe that something in the atmospherics of power in Nigeria shrinks the human cranium and reduces the volume of grey matter therein. We need not stop at psychiatric evaluation, we seriously need to consider measuring the cranium of people going into government and repeating the measurement when they complete their tenure. We may make very interesting discoveries that could validate the claims of 19th century craniologists.
Things happen in Nigeria that only diminished cranial size could explain. A President rides into office atop the corpses of youth corpers in a land rendered unrecognizable by violence and insecurity. Boko Haram has almost turned him to the president of only the portion of his country lying below the rivers Niger and Benue. The commercial capital of his country is at the mercy of floods. Nearly 70% of his people are under the age of thirty-five and, if they have never been out of Nigeria, they have never known just one month of uninterrupted electricity in all their thirty-five years on earth; they have no jobs; they have no role models. This president does not have a single kilometer of road anywhere in his country that is fit for 21st century human use; he has no infrastructure; no schools; no hospitals; in short, he has nothing to offer 150 million people except the assurance of a permanent sojourn in Hobbes’s state of nature where life is short and brutish.
And what is his priority, faced with this grim picture? He hits the ground running to tenure elongation. If this does not call for craniology, I don’t know what does.
Somebody is the chairman of our largely dysfunctional and overbearing Governors’ Forum. His name is Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi. He was recently all over the place, vuvuzeling from the rooftops that the states cannot afford to pay the N18, 000 minimum wage. Yet, while one half of his mouth insisted on the continued dehumanization of the Nigerian worker, the other half was busy making a case for the acquisition of a brand new jet for him. And, oh, if it’s any consolation, he merely traded in an older one that had become unsafe. As I write, it’s still morning yet in the profusion of bla bla bla from Governor Amaechi. If this does not call for craniology, I don’t know what does.
Nigerians will ultimately need to understand that there is something seriously wrong with this picture: about 5000 elected crooks with diminished craniums are holding 150 million people with regular craniums to ransom. And we allow it. Rotimi Amaechi got away with the madness of purchasing a new aircraft while denying his workers minimum wage because the people of Rivers state allowed it. President Jonathan and Reuben Abati – who will hear from me soon in this column – are counting on us to reward their chicanery with ignorance and naiveté. Like everybody in Nigeria’s rulership, they have grown accustomed to a followership that allows everything they cook up in their diminished craniums. We must surprise them down the road. For starters, I have an assignment for the two of them: what recently badly burned the ten fingers of President Abdoulaye Wade of Senegal?

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