TROUBLE SLEEPS!!!

A lady had felt so dissatisfied with the size of her boobs, and had gone to her doctor. Doctor, please, I need my boobs re-sized. I want 'em bigger and firmer. The doctor did on her breast implants. Shortly afterward, the boobs grow longer by the day. She became terrified, and returned to the doctor. At first, the doctor didn't recognize her again. Hah! Wahala yasoh! The following altercation ensued:

DOCTOR:

Olomu roro;

E maa wole;

Teremina jalangato!

Olomu roro;

Emaa wole;

Teremina jalangato!

Mama re nko?

Baba re nko?

Teremina jalangato!

Olomu roro;

E maa wole;

Teremina jalangato!

[TRANSLATION:

Mega-melon boobs;

Watch your steps;

You may fall;

You may crash.

Where’s your mom?

Where’s your dad?

You may fall;

You may crash.]

LADY:

Babalawo mo wa bebe;

Alugbirin!

Ogugun ti e se funmi lekan;

Alugbirin!

Mo boju wo oyan mi;

Oyan mi ri gboro o;

Alugbirin!

Mo f'owo kan oyan mi;

Oyan mi dun gbirin o;

Alugbirin!

[TRANSLATION:

Doctor, I come;

To complain;

The medication;

You’d put on me;

I look on my boobs;

They are growing;

Longer and longer;

I touch my boobs;

They are hard;

They are painful.]

=DEOLA

SING ALONG!!!

This Deola mcaguns!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

Do u love him? Rise up;

Easy, easy baby o;

Shake ya booty o!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

Easy, easy, baby o;

Dance with ya chest!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

It’s Deola mcaguns!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

Dallas nile mcaguns!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

Lokili Ondo mcaguns!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns

Proud Yoruba mcaguns!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

Akoko lomo Agun yi o!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns

Handsome bobo mcaguns;

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

prin-roro! prin-ro!

Tchan tchan tchan

Segelulu mcaguns!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

This Deola mcaguns!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

Windshield loju mcaguns!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

Everyone, say mcaguns;

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

Ti nba se e, foriji mi o!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

Do u love this Deola o?

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns.

I love u too. I love u so much!

CHORUS: 'Mericana mcaguns!!!

==DEOLA

THE ROTIMIS!!!

CHORUS: 

Hey, mama lo;

O di gbere;

Titi d'ojo ajinde;

Ti gbogbo wa yo;

Pade lese Jesu.

VERSE:

Tolu's missin ya;

Mama you're;

Gone too soon.

Mama o, mama o!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Yetty's missin ya;

Mama you're;

Gone too soon.

Mama o, mama o!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Kemi se daro re;

Mama you're;

Gone too soon.

Mama o, mama o!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Bosun's missin ya;

Mama you're;

Gone too soon.

Mama o, mama o!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Benizer's missin ya;

Mama you're;

Gone too soon.

Mama o, mama o!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Rotimi’s missin ya;

Zaki’s missin ya;

Arigidi se daro re;

Mama o, mama o!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Jinde, ao jinde;

Lese Kiristi o;

Mama o, mama o!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

=DEOLA

THE JOSHUAICAL!!!

This man, TB Joshua o;

I love ya, TB Joshua o;

The man prays;

E gba mi ooo!

Satan cries away o.

Temitope Joshua o;

E gba mi ooo;

Please, lemme alone.

The man shakes hand;

Scattering evil forces;

E gba mi ooo!

Lemme go oo!

E gba mi ooo!

Lemme alone o!

Satan begs him o.

This man, TB Joshua o;

Deola loves TB Joshua;

I love ya, TB Joshua o...

Chai...tchan tchan...

=DEOLA

THE KISS OF MOTHER!!!

Mom’s a jewel invaluable;

Iya ni wura iyebiye o;

Don’t fiddle womanhood

In womb, she’d borne ya;

Complete nine months.

Iya ni wura Iyebiye o;

Mom is a jewel Invaluable;

There is no mother at all;

To buy from the market;

Iya ni wura iyebiye o;

Women’re jewel inestimable;

Mom’s a jewel invaluable;

Iya ni wura iyebiye o;

Do not fiddle womanhood!

=DEOLA

A LOOKING BACK!!!

We fought Luggard;

The Britons run;

Ominira train de;

Everyone boarded;

The train rolled;

Shunt out in song:

A ti gunke a ti so;

[We’ve climbed;

We’ve alighted]

In short while, and;

Before too long;

Did it even get to;

To too long.

Let me substitute;

"Too" with "one";

English men, please;

I beg your pardon;

It’s not my fault o;

I should comply;

With the law of;

English homonym;

“Too” is “Two”;

“Two” is “Too”;

So, it didn’t get to;

Too long rara;

Before "one" long;

We enter coupland;

Galloping from;

Coup de blood;

To coup d’état;

Prade prade shon!

A soldier yelled;

And, the train rolled:

Shunt in new song:

Khaki o gbagbakugba;

Ko ni gbagbakugba!

In the hila-hilo;

O'the brute trip;

We arrived here;

DemoCRAZY land!

You steal, I steal;

Every mickle thief;

Makes a little case;

Every little stealing;

Makes mickle case.

The train rolled;

Shunt in new song:

Ole o janpati;

Janpati, no;

Ko janpati!

[thieving amounts;

To no amount]

Headlong, bang!

Ijanba railway;

[rail accident]

In Sambisa forest;

And, we are stuck;

Stuck in the middle;

No getting under;

Pain’s like thunder;

We all disembarked;

Men and women;

In a union song:

Push push push;

Let the train moving.

The train rolled, but;

In a different song:

Sango pa sango pa;

Eniti ko se tiwa;

Sango pa sango pa.

[Whoever refuse us;

Let thunder kill]

Suddenly, guns roared;

Shout o’lahu akbaru;

Boko boys emerged;

Kidnapped our girls;

Soldiers daren’t em;

The Tiger cannot;

Be a barber, and;

Dog would go to him;

In order to shave;

Eewo Orisa!!!

[God forbid]

God have mercy!

=DEOLA

BODE ROLISTIQUE!!!

One thief steals it;

One thief takes it.

This is the model;

Of our blood flow;

In great Nigeria o!

If u steal it in left;

Hand side, roll on;

In left hand side;

No, not in the right;

Hand side; always,

In left hand side!

If you yank it off;

The right hand side;

Roll it on straight to;

The left hand side;

Like Bode to Roli;

From left hand side;

He passes to her in;

The left hand side!

God don’t at all vex;

When you roll it on;

From left hand side;

Please, roll it on to;

The left hand side!

Good, Bode, roll it to;

Roli, in Left hand side;

And, it is...tis a Jaaail!

I beg ya pardon, men!!

It is a Georges!!!

==========DEOLA

appetizer!!!

HALLOWEEN!

How do you do, boys and girls;

Y'all my friends; Hope you are;

Happy, happy, happy, happy!

It's Halloween, pretty weather;

Sunshine and playing time;

Happy Fall to everyone!

How do you do, boys and girls;

Deola’s here, wishing you all;

Happy, happy, happy, happy!

How do you do, boys and girls;

Y'all my friends; Hope you are;

Happy, happy, happy, happy!

It’s Halloween. Get some fun!

Rock easy! Enjoy yourself;

Deola’s here, wishing you all;

Happy, happy, happy, happy!

=DEOLA

WON NGE LOWO, O NB’ORUKA!!

Pan bobo riboto;

Diezani mi Alison o;

Dancing baby o;

Mo b’omo jo o eh!

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

Diezani, baby;

Alison mi o;

Pretty baby;

Pupa yemi o;

OPEC goddess!

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

Pretty Diezani mi;

Pupa yemi;

Orekelewa o;

OPEC goddess!

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

Gashi kudi;

Our oil money o;

Owo de;

Our oil money o;

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

Billion ne!

Trillion ne!

Our oil money o;

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

Kiss, kiss Diezani mi o;

Sweet eaglet baby;

Yeah, it's a goal!

Spend much as you want;

I don’t give a damn o;

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

Kiss me, baby;

Fun mi loyan mu o;

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

My body dey fire o;

The thing dey swell o;

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

Baby, play me love o;

Spend much as you want;

Our oil money o;

I don’t give a damn o;

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

Ibadi laye wa o;

Adun ma deeke o;

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

Baby mi, spend;

Much as you want o;

Our oil money o;

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

Sanusi Lamido;

Keep off ya nose o;

I don’t give a damn o;

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh!

Mo b’omo jo o;

Diezani yi mo ba lo;

The world no go crash o;

Supper green Eagle;

Kiss me Diezani;

OPEC appointment;

It's a goooooal

CHORUS:

              Yea, mo b’omo jo o eh;

It's a goooooal!!!

=DEOLA

SUDDENLY!!!

The angel;

Beckons her;

Come home;

My daughter;

Come home;

U have not;

Any share;

In the world;

Anymore.

She replies;

Please, Lord;

Lemme stay;

Tolu’s young;

She ain’t;

Marry yet;

Lemme stay;

Please, Lord;

Lemme stay.

Daughter, no!

Angel said;

No! No!

You gotta be;

With Jesus;

U have not;

Any share;

In the world;

Anymore.

Eniola mi, I’m;

Going to Jesus;

I try to hang-in;

But, the lord;

Said I gotta;

Come home;

I have not;

Any share;

In the world;

Anymore.

Tell it to Deola;

I love ye both;

Yes, I do.

Not my desire;

To wanna go;

Too soon;

See the angel;

Beckons me;

I gotta be;

On the move

I have not;

Any share;

In the world;

Anymore.

Tell Yetunde;

I love her;

So much too;

My time’s up;

Gotta go to;

Meet with;

Jesus Christ;

I have not;

Any share;

In the world;

Anymore!!!

=DEOLA

ENGLISH AMERICANA!!!

As I was going;

On one way;

Lo, a friend;

Was coming;

In front of me;

On one way.

Hey, Deola!

He greeted.

Hi, my men!

I replied him.

Ugh! Deola,

What's with,

Your English?

I'm only, but;

One man;

Please, adjust;

Your glasses;

So you can;

See me well.

Never mind;

I said to him;

In the USA;

One man;

Is a men.

What about;

Two men;

He asked.

In future,

Two men;

Perhaps, will;

Be a mens;

Many men;

A menses.

Now, Toilet;

Is restroom;

And the hand;

Is our foot;

Like we play;

In football.

Ole netball;

Has become;

Basket ball.

With the USA,

English lang;

Evolves anew!!!

=DEOLA

EVER READY LIONS!!!

One time, the man;

Went to USA;

Opened his mouth;

His smell went wild!

"Ladies and gentlemen";

His friend pleads:

"Don't worry about;

The man's mouth o."

Hmn, dirty body;

Is a lifestyle in Africa;

The correct way!

Thanks to Abati.

Another time, the man;

Went to UK;

Pulled down his pant;

Hum, hum, hum!

His smell went wild!

"Ladies and gentlemen";

His friend pleads:

"Don't worry about;

The man's pant o."

Hmn, dirty yansh;

Is a lifestyle in Africa;

The correct way!

Thanks to Okupe.

Again, the man;

Went to France;

Pulled up his shirt;

Hum, hum, hum!

His smell went wild!

"Ladies and gentlemen";

His friend pleads:

"Don't worry about;

The man's shirt o."

Hmn, dirty body;

Is a lifestyle in Africa;

The correct way!

Thanks to Labaran!!!

=DEOLA.

[Idea fro. Fela Kuti]

IMAGE O’GOD!!!

Woke up this morning;

I look in the mirror;

The image o'God;

Shines outta me;

Beautiful, beautifuler;

God shines outta me;

Woke up this morning;

I look in the mirror;

God shines outta me;

Look in my head;

Beautiful, beautifuler;

God shines outta me!

Look in my glasses;

Beautiful, beautifuler;

God shines outta me!

Look in my wrist watch,

Beautiful, beautifuler;

God shines outta me!

Woke up this morning;

I look in the mirror;

See the image o'God;

Shining forth inna me;

Beautiful, beautifuler;

God shines outta me!!!

DEOLA.

[In my childhood, beautiful=beautifuler=beautifulest]

Lols!!